You might not know this about me, but I’m actually a mother of 3, 2 boys and a daughter, Teagan (you’ve heard me mention her in previous posts). She is a mini me – loves to play housey house, cooks, has verbal diarrhoea, loves scrabble and has a psychotic bladder. I get her and she gets me…..I’ve never had to ‘parent’ her, there’s never been a need.
But my boys, oh my, they’ve been challenging. There are 2 of them, closer than 2 brothers can be, 14 months apart and double the trouble, and there’s been plenty of that. But they are MY boys, loving, well-mannered, charming and full of ‘sh1t’
I tried very hard to instil all the good things parents are supposed to do, but disciplining my boys was not my strong suit. As a single mother I sucked at this. I may have been a loving mother but I made an awful father. At age 13, I lost my boys to ‘that world’ – that world where all lost socks and underpants go. One minute they were little boys who loved their mommy and then BANG, they were gone. I was left with just a sock, a thing ….its very presence a reminder of what was missing…..little boys with toothless smiles, grubby hands, bandaged toes and endless hero stories. I ended up with ‘things’ who didn’t ‘do’ school – academic conscientious was ‘greek’ to them. Left-overs, shopping, gardening and helping around the house was done with very little enthusiasm. Wet towels, kitchen tornado sandwich making, and couch slumming to partying in 3 sec flat, they did perfectly , 100% in fact.
When they left home and moved to the U.K I threw a party (ok I didn’t really but I wanted to) It was such a relief to have them out of the home. I went from buying 1354945 rolls of toilet paper in a week to buying 9 in a month, to 2 tons of cheese to cheese molding in the fridge, from spending more time in a car than sleeping to 4 min 32 sec to work & back. T.V remotes, coffee cups, teaspoons and a bank balance reappeared.
Living away from home has been life changing for them, they’ve gone from ‘things’ to men. Now they ‘do’ school as they are studying AND working, they are grateful for any meal, have shopping apps on their smart phones, are the go to guys for any maintenance needed and sometimes they hang up their towels -bottom line they are earning a living and paying their own way.
And, even though, they are grown men, they love their mommy like little boys do. They communicate with me constantly because they want to, they tell me their ‘shit’ because they want to and they even ask for my advice……………ground breaking.
I love my boys, more so now than ever. It’s bigger now because I respect & admire them, they make me so proud, they have come so far…..I’m honored to call them MY boys
Here they are: